As we grow older, our friendship circle or close acquaintance circle either expands or recedes. We either move around in groups or with a friend or two. We have common interests, views, even common worries. When we are together, it seems as time has frozen, we can be ourselves even for a brief moment or two and we can let our defences down.
Sharing music was one thing that I did always, whether it was on the radio or the television or in a live concert. Something my small nuclear family shared I got to share with friends and later with husband and kid.
Fast forward. I have become older. Father is much more older. Kid is no longer kid. Husband’s time consuming work deprives him of enjoying some happy music. Even if he did get some time, whatsApp ensures that the moments are brief and different from the songs that we relished before. Son’s music has gone from local to regional to global. Friends are too busy catering to their families to have time for musical spas with friends. I am the lone audience wanting to share music, movie extravaganzas. I remember Mom with whom I have shared innumerable such things. Those were the days☹️
Added to that is the fact that one is a caregiver and, that isn’t easy especially when you have been taken care of all your life – by loving and indulging parents as a child who fell sick often followed, by an equally caring life partner who flexes his flexible muscles to adjust for a wife he loves dearly.😘
Having been responsible for a family filled with people of all ages and generations with different viewpoints and health levels, I am longing to be that little girl once again! That pigtailed tomboy, innocent to the ways of the world, unaware of responsibility and consequence, the happy-go-lucky youngster who smiled when she wanted to, cried when she needed to – quite unlike the person I am now who has to put on a brave front when all she wants is a tight hug to brush her hurt and worries away. I am supposed to be a role model for my kid so I cannot afford to indulge in childish fantasies. If I do then, how can I advise my son to be mature and responsible? I cannot desire for something I wouldn’t want my child to pine for because if I did then, I wouldn’t be practising what I preach. I cannot listen to songs, sad or gloomy for fear of triggering something in my Covid aftermath affected kid.
So, I indulge in a nostalgic ride having a cocktail of music, time capsule, movies and fun. Lo and behold! I am that little girl once again!
But, tomorrow is not far and I have to get going . See you soon. 👍
Muse n' Motivation - Sharing Space 