Muse n' Motivation

The Thinking Blog!

One Day In The Life Of A Woman…..

I found it hard to believe when I read in the newspapers that a woman was thrown off the train by a disabled man and then raped brutally. For the entire world (at least in India) it would have been yet another incident of rape had it not been for the fact that it was done by a disabled man. But, what difference does it make? He was disabled. So what? He got around doing what he wanted even with that one palm missing of his. He certainly did not need it for this cruel, humiliating and disgusting act of molesting a 23 year old woman’s self respect and causing her death finally.

Many women get raped some time or the other in their lifetimes. Now, don’t think of this as a scandalous statement. Haven’t there been times, dear friends when a woman has stood before a man in a public place like a bus stop, the bus itself, the mall or some official place and has been forcibly undressed to the barest minimum by just the lustful look of some stranger? The resultant feeling is of anger, frustration and shame. And there is nothing that can be done about it. After all, you are fully dressed. If this is the mental state of women who get mentally raped every other day, then you can very well imagine the plight of women who get raped physically. And worse is the state of rural women who are humiliated and discriminated for no fault of theirs.

Disrobing women comes easy to us Indians. If Draupadi, the wife of the super five Pandavas could get disrobed then, we are but ordinary mortals. Draupadi was treated like a commodity in a game of gambling. Today, it is no different. A woman who attempts to try her hand in male domains or, succeeds in life both, personally and professionally is often accused of having slept her way up. If a man succeeds, he is appreciated for being talented and hard working!

When a woman is molested or raped, her tattered clothes symbolize the humiliation of her self-respect. The marks on her body will take some time to heal but what about the bruises on her mind and soul? Will they ever heal? Today, we hear of more and more women being raped. Are there too many male sadists or is the value system in the society gone kaput? Women, little girls and even children are known to be raped for lust, for enmity or just for no reason at all. The kind of trauma that children undergo when they are physically violated is just indescribable.

Women get raped, some complain, others just carry on with their lives. What has happened to the men, you may ask. What has gotten into them? Why have they suddenly become so sexually charged? The most terrible part is that many rapists go scot-free to sow their wild seeds elsewhere. Not all want to file a report for fear of what the society will say or maybe a fear of the rapists themselves. So, the soiled clothes are silently washed and life carries on as if nothing happened. But, it is a fact that the trauma of such an incident never heals and if the raped woman does get pregnant then, she goes in for a hush-hush abortion and that’s the happy ending for you!

But, what could be the causes of such offensive deeds? An egoistic man’s idea of self-respect, a male chauvinistic attitude of showing a woman where she stands or simply a sadistic man’s act of temporary physical superiority. Today, a woman likes it if she is called sexy. It is a compliment for her and some times it is this very compliment that turns her life upside down.  The problem is that both men and women have forgotten that a lakshman rekha exists for both of them. Until the rules of self respect are followed in society, we are going to hear more of such cases. Let’s hope good sense prevails and men and women stick to their limits.

Till then, women like that lone woman in that empty train compartment will continue to live in fear and terror. She for one, did not want a sexy compliment at that time of the night when she was only returning home after an exhausting day at work. At least, death seems to have been kind and brought an end (temporarily) to her earthly suffering…….

 

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19 Comments

  1. sridhar

    That was an emotional rendering, Shail. And if only you had seen the way the rape-cases are heard in Courts.. Oh My God! I remember the movie Priyanka where Revathi will tell the defence lawyer of a person who has raped and killed a woman, “That man raped her once; and you raped her several times in the course of trial.”

    I have witnessed a rape trial. Nauseating. And IPC was part of my syllabus for my II BGL examinations. The kind of cases, the explanations…
    Yes, you should have a proper enquiry. But if the person is found guilty the only apt punishment is what they give to such men in Arab countries.

  2. Shail, what makes it more sickening is the fact that the man was a disabled person. As you rightly say, disability doesn’t seem to have prevented him from doing such a brutal act.

  3. sohela

    yesss.. its always really shocking … we read it and express our sad feelings and move on… but never think wat if it happens to us or anyone near us???

  4. She for one, did not want a sexy compliment at that time of the night when she was only returning home after an exhausting day at work. At least, death seems to have been kind and brought an end (temporarily) to her earthly suffering…

    It was shocking to say the least. I was outraged to read about the incident. Actually words failed me. U are right in saying death was kind to bring an end to her suffering. But what about the rapist who gets away scot-free?? Society and law let them get away… 😐 If only the punishment for raping was far stronger, then the fear of the law would have kept them away…

  5. Rape is one of many crimes which need to be punished.
    All crimes are crimes and our constitution has given due importance to this crime.
    Courts and society should pay due attention to the problem.
    Undue amplification may create unnecessary terror in female minds.

  6. GEEKOGIRL

    Reading your post reminded me of an incident I’ve tried hard to forget. I’m a girl of 21 with a good life. But sometimes, a disgusting thing that happened to me 14 years back keeps haunting me.
    My brother was about to be born and my mom was taken to hospital. I was then a six year old with nothing to do but wander around the hospital corridoors. That was when the security gaurd there told me he’d show me around the hospital and took me to the terrace.(some 9 floors high) He molested me. I started to cry. I told him I wanted to go back. He threatened to push me down the building if I cried or if I reported to anybody. But finally, he let me go.
    But the good thing I did was, I told my dad about what he did. My dad reported to hospital administrators, and the gaurd was thrown off the job.

    But a few years later, we saw that same gaurd working for another branch of the same hospital. It shocks me to think that the hospital authorities never took the crime seriously.. What was the guarantee he wouldnt perpetuate the same thing agains another innocent child? Perhaps they believed he turned over a new leaf, or perhaps he really did… But this act is not sending out any warning messages to other molesters out there!
    And that little girl of my past still haunts me.. that little girl who was bold enough to tell her dad.

    Since that day i haven’t spoken about this to anybody. But i guess i had to tell it to get it out of my mind once for all…!

  7. Bhargavi

    Same emotions here Shail…a very very sad incident.

    Disability in mind is the one, everyone should fear about.
    Physical disability is nothing compared to this disability of the mind.

    Poor girl..Rightly said, if everyone follows the Lakshman Rekha..of self-respect..one can see some changes in the society.

  8. P.K. VENUGOPAL

    The fact that the fellow passengers didn’t come to the rescue of Soumya who cried out for help from a criminal’s attack, and since they didn’t pull the emergency chain, shows the poor and diseased mental condition of our society. If this mentality is not changed, it is the society who should be punished and not the criminal. Putting the ladies compartment in front, back, middle, in front of engine, back of the train etc. won’t solve things.

    Each and every one of us should have the mentality of helping a woman who is in distress.

    From the intensity of the crime that the rapist has committed on Soumya, the best punishment would be to crucify him with nails pierced into every centimetre of his body, eyes and head after tying upside down to a wooden board. Mind you, the length of the nail should be sufficiently long because it has to pierce his head and reach out through the back of his head and get fastened onto the wooden board.

  9. sridhar :
    That was an emotional rendering, Shail. And if only you had seen the way the rape-cases are heard in Courts.. Oh My God! I remember the movie Priyanka where Revathi will tell the defence lawyer of a person who has raped and killed a woman, “That man raped her once; and you raped her several times in the course of trial.”
    I have witnessed a rape trial. Nauseating. And IPC was part of my syllabus for my II BGL examinations. The kind of cases, the explanations…
    Yes, you should have a proper enquiry. But if the person is found guilty the only apt punishment is what they give to such men in Arab countries.

    Thanks Sridhar. Yes, this is indeed a very emotional topic for most women and men alike. I haven’t witnessed any rape trial. Just reading about it is so disgusting and frustrating so I can understand how it would have been for you.
    Yes, I agree hundred per cent with the punishment you have mentioned…

  10. d.om prakash narayan :
    Shail, what makes it more sickening is the fact that the man was a disabled person. As you rightly say, disability doesn’t seem to have prevented him from doing such a brutal act.

    Yes, Om. Already people are narrow minded when it comes to treating disabled persons with respect. And incidents like these only aggravate the matter. Anyways, the issue here is not that the disabled person did it but that a man raped a lone woman and brutally murdered her and got away alive while she, poor soul died.

  11. sohela :
    yesss.. its always really shocking … we read it and express our sad feelings and move on… but never think wat if it happens to us or anyone near us???

    Yes, Sohela. I agree. We only express our frustration and anger and move on. But what when it happens to someone we know or who is dear to us? Reflective question. Then, we suffer like hell but nothing happens. These brutes must be humiliated in public and punished like so many have suggested.

  12. Dr Madan Goyal :
    Rape is one of many crimes which need to be punished.
    All crimes are crimes and our constitution has given due importance to this crime.
    Courts and society should pay due attention to the problem.
    Undue amplification may create unnecessary terror in female minds.

    Dr. Madan, Thanks for sharing your views. Laws are there everywhere but when are they implemented? When the culprit has either escaped, died or the victim has suffered physically and mentally or died like this woman in particular?
    Terror is already there in the minds of the women and not just women, men too who are brothers, fathers, grandfathers, etc of women. Terror must be got rid of and that can be done only when such rapists are punished and the media gives coverage. Here, the media seems to be failing. It only reports the rape, never the implementation of the punishment. This apart, some male minds are just sickening….What if that woman were their sister, mother, etc?

  13. Ashwathy :
    She for one, did not want a sexy compliment at that time of the night when she was only returning home after an exhausting day at work. At least, death seems to have been kind and brought an end (temporarily) to her earthly suffering…
    It was shocking to say the least. I was outraged to read about the incident. Actually words failed me. U are right in saying death was kind to bring an end to her suffering. But what about the rapist who gets away scot-free?? Society and law let them get away… If only the punishment for raping was far stronger, then the fear of the law would have kept them away…

    Yes Ashwathy. The fear of the law seems to not thwart the rapists at all. They need to be humiliated in public, be given a literal dressing down and punished brutally. And the entire nation must come to know of it. Only then, will/can some change come in the system that talks about democracy, freedom to rape at will….

  14. IF ONLY THEIR WOULD BE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT, NO PERVERTED MAN WOULD EVEN THINK OF DOING THE BRUTAL ACT. THIS BRING AND HANGS THE HEADS OF GOOD AND INNOCENT GENTLEMEN.

  15. GEEKOGIRL :
    Reading your post reminded me of an incident I’ve tried hard to forget. I’m a girl of 21 with a good life. But sometimes, a disgusting thing that happened to me 14 years back keeps haunting me.
    My brother was about to be born and my mom was taken to hospital. I was then a six year old with nothing to do but wander around the hospital corridoors. That was when the security gaurd there told me he’d show me around the hospital and took me to the terrace.(some 9 floors high) He molested me. I started to cry. I told him I wanted to go back. He threatened to push me down the building if I cried or if I reported to anybody. But finally, he let me go.
    But the good thing I did was, I told my dad about what he did. My dad reported to hospital administrators, and the gaurd was thrown off the job.
    But a few years later, we saw that same gaurd working for another branch of the same hospital. It shocks me to think that the hospital authorities never took the crime seriously.. What was the guarantee he wouldnt perpetuate the same thing agains another innocent child? Perhaps they believed he turned over a new leaf, or perhaps he really did… But this act is not sending out any warning messages to other molesters out there!
    And that little girl of my past still haunts me.. that little girl who was bold enough to tell her dad.
    Since that day i haven’t spoken about this to anybody. But i guess i had to tell it to get it out of my mind once for all…!

    Dear Geekogirl, I don’t know you. But this much I do know that there are innumerable persons like you undergoing through all this and keeping quiet. I understand. It is not something that can be easily shared. You were brave and had sensitive parents who did not make you feel guilty and helped you. Not all parents are like that.
    I am glad that you could come to terms with this incident. I hope and pray the same for all those who have undergone this incident. And pray that it never happens to anyone.
    Thumbs up to you for being brave.

  16. Bhargavi :

    Same emotions here Shail…a very very sad incident.

    Disability in mind is the one, everyone should fear about.
    Physical disability is nothing compared to this disability of the mind.

    Poor girl..Rightly said, if everyone follows the Lakshman Rekha..of self-respect..one can see some changes in the society.

    Thanks Bhargavi. Very few people remember the Lakshman Rekhas when they step outside their immediate family circles.
    Then, for them, other women/men become just creatures to exploit…..

  17. SAROJA :

    IF ONLY THEIR WOULD BE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT, NO PERVERTED MAN WOULD EVEN THINK OF DOING THE BRUTAL ACT. THIS BRING AND HANGS THE HEADS OF GOOD AND INNOCENT GENTLEMEN.

    Thanks Saroja. I understand that you are a man and feel bad about this. I am glad that many men have shared their feelings about rape. Yes, I agree. Punishment must be something which should shake the cells out of such cruel and mean men…

  18. P.K. VENUGOPAL :
    The fact that the fellow passengers didn’t come to the rescue of Soumya who cried out for help from a criminal’s attack, and since they didn’t pull the emergency chain, shows the poor and diseased mental condition of our society. If this mentality is not changed, it is the society who should be punished and not the criminal. Putting the ladies compartment in front, back, middle, in front of engine, back of the train etc. won’t solve things.
    Each and every one of us should have the mentality of helping a woman who is in distress.
    From the intensity of the crime that the rapist has committed on Soumya, the best punishment would be to crucify him with nails pierced into every centimetre of his body, eyes and head after tying upside down to a wooden board. Mind you, the length of the nail should be sufficiently long because it has to pierce his head and reach out through the back of his head and get fastened onto the wooden board.

    Thanks Venugopal for sharing your emotional and sensitive views. We need more persons who can think of such instances as happening to them. Only then can change be brought, not by as you rightly mentioned moving the ladies compartment.
    As far as punishment is concerned, such men must be given the punishment that will keep them away from engaging in any such acts for pleasure or for rape with any woman…

  19. Geetashree Chatterjee

    You have made a very powerful statement -“men and women should stick to their limits” and I endorse it completely. Rape is not an isolated incident. It has socio-economic and psychological undercurrents too. But alas when the society occupies the jury’s chair, a unilateral verdict is pronounced – the guilty is always the weaker sex.

    In the instant case, I wonder whether anybody thought it wise to ask the disabled rapist what he felt while raping the victim and thereafter. Did it satisfy his ego ? Or did he feel physically superior and “wholesome” after the dastardly act? Perhaps such probes are by themselves taboo and not to be encouraged. A rapist is a rapist. But does just branding a person help the society to get rid of the malady?

    I am glad you pointed out that to some members of the fairer sex the “sexy” tag is a boastful compliment which on the other hand can turn ugly at any point of time in case of a mishap. I am with you too when you say that women get raped mentally as well as physically – when she is vitiated by a mere lustful scan or objectified.

    In the capital, following the latest fashion trend is considered up-to-date. If you are not trendy you belong to the back of the beyond. Sometimes there is hardly a line of demarcation between provocative dressing and style quotient. In a public place amidst a heterogeneous crowd which may also include a few well dressed sick minds, I cringe sometimes to see bare skin being flaunted unblushingly. We are criticized as conservative if we open our mouth in disfavour of what is in vogue. But isn’t it our duty too to see that we do not incite a violent act ? One may say that a rapist is not deterred by a purdah. Do we indirectly condemn our sex if we accuse her of undue provocation? Does titillation not a prelude to rape? If not all times but perhaps sometimes. I am still not sure of that…………But again we are restricting ourselves to the urban periphery. What about our villages where rape is the male prerogative by and large ? The debate can go on….I suppose.

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