A Crown Too Heavy for her!

All that she wanted was some more love. Isn’t it what we all want? But, commoners like us don’t have the burden of heavy monarchy lying on our shoulders. Married when very young, hers was a fairytale wedding marrying a prince and riding into the sunset with the “and they lived happily ever after” kind of ending. Unfortunately, that was not to be. Born yesterday, 49 years ago, this Princess was like any other ordinary girl (if we ignore her links to the aristocracy). The same dreams of a happy home, carefree life and all that jazz. But it was not to be. The trauma of parents divorcing, of living apart from one parent, of being  made to live with her mother and then with her father, having to tolerate a stepmother she did not like and so on and so forth. Her low academic profile did not deter her from dreaming, of singing, dancing, swimming and diving.

 Her fault was that she was judged to be THE perfect bride material – aristocratic descent, little or no sexual experience( read as presumed virgin) and a follower of the Church of England, all or most of which the current wife of Prince Charles did not have then and so was supposedly rejected. Also, unlike Diana who was only around 20 years then she was around 16 months older! So, that clinched the deal, sorry the wedding and her life!  Not that she was the ideal Royal bride and Royal family member! She tried hard to keep up to the standards of the Royal family but also attempted to bring in the element of commonness in her family. Like for example, naming her children, selecting their nanny herself, selecting their schools, planning their outings and basically living her life centered around her children, not the Royal family.

All that she wanted to be was a devoted wife and mother. But that was not to be again. Differences in thoughts, upbringing and views with Prince Charles brought about a separation that could have been done without like in any other relationship. And, being VVVIPs made their conflicts, infidelities and relationship all the more sensational.

 How sad it is that one needs such problems to turn to the world to offer respite, when one needs it oneself desperately. That’s what Diana did. Although as Princess of Wales she had to be involved in charities and the like, it was during her low, depressing time of her break-up with Prince Charles that she became actively involved in the AIDS issue and the campaign against the use of landmines. In both cases, she went out of her way to offer sympathy and unconditional love for all those oppressed and suffering. Maybe, in each one of them she saw herself and so went out of her way to offer the love that she longed so much and knew that she might never ever get.

 Somewhere along the way, the little girl residing within her had died and with every relationship or social issue initiative she was only trying hard to bring that young innocent girl back to life. Her unfortunate ending only seemed to rub the harsh reality into the minds of all royals and commoners alike, that not all get to live the “happily ever after” life. Even if her ex-husband lives a supposedly fulfilling life with his ex lover, Lady Diana I hope somewhere has realized the futility of chasing an illusion.

 May her soul always rest in peace.

Remembering her on her birthday

With love.


23 thoughts on “A Crown Too Heavy for her!

  1. Thnaks Shail…a beautifully written thought provoking article… the common man’s princess was a role model for us when we were growing… but soon realised that her fairytale like prefect life was not so perfect… wish she had a more fulfilling life…

  2. Thanks Prerna. We often tend to think that the lives of the rich and mighty are perfect. The same went with Diana too but then, like she was chasing an illusion, we too the commoners were trying hard to believe in her illusion. Both failed, she and us!

  3. Shail,
    Well documented and well written. Diana was a product of her own imperfections in stark contrast with the reflections of her as the perfect princess in society. This contrast killed her long before she actually died. Diana was a confused individual seeking her identity through forbidden love – her defiance was brought about by the world unable to understand her frustrations. Her charm, her beauty, her glamour – all were, in fact, her achilles heel. Sad story. But much to learn for others. Good effort. Keep it up!

    1. Hi Om, I think Shail was right in that Diana was a normal woman.. looking for unconditional love.. she was confused.. yes.. imperfect.. definitely.. but who isn’t? I do not think ” she was seeking identity through forbidden love” cos she had an identity.. like the one Shail has beautifully portrayed.. she didn’t have to prove anything to the world.. I think her defiance could have been directed towards her Royal family which was failing to acknowledge her pain and the humiliation she was experiencing in her wedded life…her way of responding to the emotional blackmail that she might have been subjected to… as mother of the Royal heirs..

  4. Dont we presume too much about ppl, who are in the public life ??? She is one such example. If ppl have accepted her for what she was, it would have been easier on her.

    Well written, Shail. 🙂

  5. Thanks Uma. That’s very true. With the ordinary public, public life is really enchanting and so, they tend to get carried away. Much of media speculation could have avoided some damage. Nice that you liked the article.

  6. Well, to be honest Shail, didn’t like the title the first time I read it…then I thought that yes, she was perhaps too delicate and over sensitive to be holding such a mighty crown. She was a liberated soul. Whatever the world may think of her, I always feel that she’s a soul whom many had/have misunderstood.

    Sometimes, the emotions get pent up in me. Too much for the world and too less for me. I’m an eccentric fanatic sometimes.

  7. Thanks Sneha for being honest. I wouldn’t know about her soul being liberated. But ofcourse, this much I understand that all she wanted was the fulfilment of a few aspirations and a few dreams. And they all went haywire! A charming life lost in vain!

  8. Hey Shail… Just read your piece on Diana… I’ve always been curious
    about the life and time of Diana… But never got time to read much
    about her.
    So liked reading your post.

  9. Hi Saurabh. Nice seeing you here after a long time.

    Nice that you liked my post. Sad that such a charming person had to go the way she did. After all the landmark charity work she did for AIDS and landmines, her presence in this world could have helped a lot of causes. Sigh! Who has seen tomorrow!

  10. Hi Shail,
    Beautiful article. Very well written and very well deserved. Lady Diana was a wonderful human being and she deserves to be remembered. Thank you for a wonderful write up.

  11. Hi Shail, nice blog. Diana had her imperfections and human frailties(she loved being the centre of media attention which finally led to her death) but she did a lot of good work too.

  12. Hi Beyni, Thanks. Great to see you here!
    I agree that Diana had her imperfections. If only she had not added to her woes then, maybe, there would have been some respite for her. But, I still appreciate the social work that she did especially the landmark work in building up the anti landmine campaign.

  13. Very beautifully done 🙂 Touching…loved it…
    The Diana bit has always been done to death, but this provides a fresh -human – perspective to her that has been refreshingly sketched..

  14. Thanks Ashwathy. Nice that you liked it. I too had this feeling when I started out to write. Then, I told myself, what the heck, it’s my perspective!
    Glad that it did not turn out into a stereotype thing.

  15. Her sons are in news always for wrong reasons. May be her separation and early death affected their upbringing. Well written Shail. Keep it up.

  16. Thanks Hari. I agree. With these children of public figures this happens most of the time, because the kind of values that are needed in any normal family set-up are not there. Seconly, as you mentioned, a mother’s early demise can break havoc in a child’s life even if he/she does not show it out. Sad indeed!

  17. The grass on the other side is always greener. Also, its esier to scrutinize other people’s lives than monitor one’s own miserable existence. Her sons miss her and so does the charities that could have benefitted from her fundraising chrisma rest of the world is back to finding new idols to ruin their lives.

    A crown would be too heavy for anyone… 🙂

    Nice piece,


    Desi Girl

  18. Hi V. Nice observation. Yes, it is easy to judge others. When the same comes to us we become edgy and irritated. The world is like that, running after new idols all the time. If only they looked within, they would find better and more inspiring idols to emulate.

    Nice you liked the piece.

  19. Movingly written, what touched me is the sensitivity with which you have treated Diana. The sympathy you feel for her is very apparent. You are absolutely right, Diana got a raw deal for no fault of hers. Her life could have been a fairy story but such are the vagaries of fate that it ended up so tragically, cut down as she was while still in her prime. Her empathy, her generosity of spirit, and her willingness to go the extra mile will long be remembered. She might not have been the ideal Princess of Wales, but the title Queen of Hearts she chose for herself fits her.

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